1. You keep a car because "it's nice to have for groceries and stuff"
2. You have a rent-controlled apartment
3. You're from Bronxville but you tell people you're from the Bronx
You know damn well this isn't true.
4. You refer to everything north of Yonkers as "upstate"
You know damn well this isn't, either.
5. You talk trash about Queens even though you've never been there
Citi Field doesn't count.
6. Your parents pay ANY of your rent, but you still complain about money
Get your sh** together.
7. You can remember the last time you partied in the Meatpacking
Or you can't, because it was SOOOOOOOO EPIC.
8. You clip your nails on the subway
9. You ask your bartender to plug in your phone before ordering a drink
10. You refer to things as "the new Williamsburg"
Or "hyper local." Or "highly leveraged." Or "swag."
11. You lean your entire body on the pole instead of holding it
12. You catcall women on the street
Actually, make that anywhere. Including Whole Foods.
13. You're nine out of 10 real estate brokers
14. You bring your child to the bar
15. You have season tickets, but only go "with clients"
This applies to all teams, but slightly less so if it's the Knicks, because those games are genuinely hard to sit through these days.