Commuting anywhere is pretty much the worst, but commuting on the LIRR every day is its own special brand of worst, one that people who don’t spend hours of their lives jockeying for position near the Big Board simply do not understand. Well, if you ever want to help them grasp it, even just a little, send them this list of 24 things they need to know. For those of us who do know, it's time to commiserate.
1. Blocking the Departure Board is one of the worst things you can do
The even worst-er thing you can do? Blocking the Departure Board while also talking loudly on your cell phone about vesting schedules.
2. Penn Station's main corridor is filled with people tracking you with their iPhone GPS...
... to make SURE they crash into you without looking up. And they're very, very good at it.
3. Yes that's a line for the escalator at the 7th Ave exit of Penn Station
So, yes, you ARE cutting the line, asshole. Somehow the Amtrak passengers upstairs just naturally know how to stand in a line but LIRR people just swarm and look for weakness.
4. If you've got a single-trip ticket, expect nothing but disrespect from people with monthlies.
In prison, you'd be washing our laundry and wearing a lipstick of our choosing.
5. The NYPD and US Military are both inside Penn Station
And they don't talk to each other and they don't want to talk to you, even if the Rangers won.