The Worst Decisions You Can Make in NYC

Life is made up of a series of choices. Most of the time, poor choices won’t necessarily be the worst thing in the world, but add enough of them together and you could end up turning into a freaky asshole skeleton like that Nazi dude from The Last Crusade. To help you choose less poorly, here are 22 of the worst decisions you can make in NYC:

Getting on that empty subway car
It was empty for a reason, you should know better.

Going with the first apartment you ever looked at
Oh, our bad, did you want an apartment that had all its lights working? Bonus bad decision: trusting any real estate listing ever.

Bad Decisions NYC
Pete Dombrosky

Swiping right after 4am
The only thing you should be doing after 4am is eating pizza.

For that matter, staying ’til 4am at any of these bars
You know what we’re talking about.

Using the ATM inside the restaurant that doesn't take cash...
You can literally walk a block in any direction, find your bank, and not have to pay another $3.

Bad Decisions NYC
Flickr/Anthony Quintano

Trying to hit multiple parties on NYE (or Halloween)
You'll spend the entire night trying to get places and have a million "u there?" texts.

Thinking, "this will be the soft pretzel that isn't stale!"
It won’t be.

Not getting out of town at least once during the summer
Winter is coming.

Being the guy who thinks, "I can make it through one more summer without an air conditioner"
You can’t.

Telling a cab driver where you want to go before getting into the cab
How many times are you gonna let them burn you with this? If their light is on, get in.

Bad Decisions NYC

Hitting on someone on the subway
Has this ever worked?

Being the guy who thinks, "how deep could that slush puddle really be?"
"Very" is the answer.

Talking to anyone on your morning commute
This is everyone’s very last bit of personal time, don’t rob them of that.

Agreeing to take the street-side room in your apartment
Sometimes a little drama is worth being able to sleep past 7am.

Taking your bookshelf on the subway on moving day
You can get away with a lamp or a chair, tops.

Bad Decisions NYC
Wikimedia Commons/Jim Henderson

Walking in the bike lane
Or biking in the bus lane.

Accepting that invitation to a party in Hoboken
Sorry, Jersey friends. Also, does it drive anyone else insane that you need to get a whole other MetroCard if you have a monthly?

Trying to get an ounce of human respect from your cable company
It’s not gonna happen.

Basing any decision at all on Sex and the City
Or any TV show for that matter, except maybe Law & Order. Actually... that could go pretty badly, too.

Bad Decisions NYC

Thinking you won’t need that umbrella
Also: leaving your umbrella anywhere for more than 30mins and thinking it won’t be stolen.

Going out during SantaCon
Unless you’re willing to give yourself over to SantaCon completely.

Running your hand down the guardrail when entering the subway
You probably don’t need the balance.

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Andrew Zimmer is Thrillist’s New York Editor and he’s made a lot of bad decisions. Follow him on Twitter.