9. The 3am intoxicated kebab eater
Be 3am intoxicated steak tartar eater instead. It's that kind of town.
10. The person who thinks that street crepes are a thing
They're not a thing. At least, not a good thing.
11. The one who packs an outfit to look “Parisian”
Please just smoke a cigarette and call it a day.
12. The aspiring writer
No, no wait fellas. He has a Moleskine, a fountain pen, and he's drinking red wine. This guy is serious business.
13. The local who pretends to not speak English
You sir, are not helping Parisians with their reputation.