You don't set out on a road trip with the intention of getting yourself shot. Correction: you don't set out on a Dick-Cheney-less road trip with the intention of getting yourself shot. For an awesome road-venture destination that won't involve you getting shot by a Vice President, but will involve you getting shot by tons of other people, head to Skirmish. Situated in the Poconos, Skirmish is a totally-driveable, 700-acre paintball complex (that's more than a square mile!) outfitted with more than 50 fields and arenas, including bunker-riddled forest battlefields, a thoroughly-destroyed, airplane-strewn airfield, castles, an abandoned, burned-out helicopter, and an oil field that'll have Chicagoans feeling right at home thanks to the disabled derricks. Events-wise, you can check out Paddles & Battles (a day of whitewater rafting/shooting each other) and Castle Nights (torch-lit evenings of storming a fortress/shooting each other) throughout the Spring/Summer, plus this Summer's show-stopping, largest-paintball-battle-in-the-world Invasion of Normandy, so hardcore you probably want to wear a cup if you plan on saving your Private Ryan. If you don't own any weaponry -- not even a bo staff?! -- Skirmish has a fully stocked pro shop where you can buy/rent a suitable firearm, protective gear, and ammo, then it's up to you to find somewhere to hide. Maybe a Bush?