URB's storming Philly for one night only, bringing a twisted version of the really-old-people's classic invented by some British crazies who discovered a bingo kit in a church hall shindig (partaaayyy!!), and then had to go bandit following scrutiny from bingo purists they describe as "old, angry, and ruthless"...soo, the pissed-off remnants of the Babe-less 1920 Red Sox? Details are awesomely sketchy, but here's what they've leaked:
There'll be a dance club/concert vibe thanks to giant video screens and flashy lighting & disco balls, aka what you ruined trying on those too-tight bell bottoms.
Bingo balls'll be pulled by scantily clad hot chicks who'll call each number with dirty rhymes like "I got banged in Timbuktu, 32".
After you've nailed five in a row slow down, nobody can keep banging at that rate!, you'll make your way to the stage, where crowd response will determine whether you're a "Winner" or a "Loser". David Wright, you know what's coming. Thanks for playing.
Losers leave the stage to a certain Beck tune, while winners get a prize, which could be anything from an inflatable sumo suit to a tray of cupcakes.
Throughout the night, there'll be teams of DJs pumping rock, dubstep, and "dirty electro", though how many times can you really listen to a synth-filled Aguilera remix?
There'll be drink specials ($3 domestic pints), a standing-room-only crowd, and everyone'll have their bingo marker, hence, organizers say you should expect to have a stranger draw something lewd on your face...wait, super-boring old people didn't like this?