21. Defend your love/obscene passion for [insert losing Philadelphia sports team]
Plenty of people like to say that Philadelphia sports fans are the worst (even though we all know that’s actually the Cowboys, duh), just because we threw snowballs at Santa that one time over 45 years ago. Encounter any nonlocal in Philly during any sports season and you’ll get some sass about how Philly teams are cursed, to which you simply cite the Phillies circa 2008, and then tell them to go away so you can scream in your Eagles jersey in peace.
22. Get free Rita’s on the first day of spring even though it’s still really cold
I’m still in my winter coat and the wind is blowing at me, and everything hurts, but it’s FREE ICE!
23. Discover the true meaning behind the giant clothespin outside City Hall
Haha, JK. Just pretend you know so you can tell tourists.
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Marielle Mondon is a Philly-born editor and freelance writer who does NOT have a Philly accent, thanks very much. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @MarielleMondon.