10. Step away from the cactus
A) it's sharp. And, B) we’re fiercely protective of our beloved Saguaro cacti -- even property owners have to get a permit to move one -- so save your “Jack + Diane 4-EVER” carving for a stupid, lame oak tree.
11. We don’t have cold tap water in July
The pipes are hot. Get an ice cube.
12. We don’t observe daylight saving time
Since Indiana adopted daylight saving in 2006, we’re the only state in the lower 48 that doesn’t switch our clocks. Why? Uh, maybe because we're not all 19th-century farmers?
13. We are SO not joking about airplane windows
You land at Sky Harbor, you LOWER YOUR DAMN WINDOW SHADE, Okay? DO YOU WANT TO DIE IN COACH?!
14. Green grass is overrated
Dead, brown grass blends nicely with the desert colors. Better yet, stick to crushed rock for your front lawn. It's perfect for the kids’ pick-up soccer games!