Lifestyle

Yesssssssss!!!

Books can teach you just about anything in the world and entertain you for hours, but they’ve long had the problem of not being read aloud by extremely hot women with no clothes on... mom. Changing all that: Naked Girls Reading.

Started in Chicago by a couple "international showgirls" who had the simple idea to let beautiful, bare, bookish ladies read their favorite lit aloud on stage, the NGR franchise somehow became wildly successful despite all the gorgeous nude women, and has finally started a PDX chapter whose first reading on Saturday features a somehow Kevin Pollak-free "stunning lineup". Saturday and beyond, the curtain’ll open on an Alistair Cooke-ing, birthday-suited lady, who'll introduce the book/ passage/ significance before launching into her 8min seated reading, meaning you finally won't have to imagine a girl naked while pretending to listen to her talk. Women! The inaugural to-do will include local burlesque pros like raven-haired Baby Le'Strange and the geeky Sophie Maltease, along with Seattle legend Heidi Von Haught, all of whom’ll be page-turning through a closely guarded secret roster of books from genres as diverse as biography, sci-fi, children's lit, and poetry, presumably lots of e.e. cummings.

Organizers promise future events will have stricter themes, which could include anything from banned books to instruction manuals, one of which is hopefully about how to convince women to be naked in an even wider range of settings.