The Oregon Brewers Fest is known for
lots of people yelling YARRRRRGHGH its forward-thinking brews and the long lines needed to get to them, which're actually a fine opportunity to meet line-locked, suds-loving girls. Facilitating your mug-lugging conquest's a lady who's been publicizing OBF for 17yrs, now availing you of her beer-woman's intuition with the scoop on brand-new fest breweries sure to attract the fairer sex, plus some factoid icebreakers...uh, factoid giant polar beer!?!? Ok, don’t use that one. Her best bets:
Black Diamond's Orange World: A summery Saison that sips "like a ginger tea", this babe-ready brew is built from bitter and sweet orange peel plus brewery-ground ginger and cardamom.
Icebreaker: "Black Diamond was named for the excavated coal mines down the road from the brewery…where we could go French kiss each other! Bring your friend if she’s bituminous-curious.”
Girl Beer by Boneyard: This "beautiful blonde ale" should attract beautiful blonde not-ales with its "lovely aroma of honey, wheat, and cherry".
Icebreaker: "Boneyard Beer is going to start canning later this summer, but I see you're already canning quite nicely yourself."
Coalition Brewing Wu C.R.E.A.M.: A cream ale that'll catch her eye with its pale golden color, Wu also rocks malted oats and flaked barley in a "complex grain bill"...wait, who’s eating all the grain on that GoldenEye board? Is someone playing as Jaws again?
Icebreaker: "Coalition's Coalator program encourages homebrewers to brew at the brewery and tap their beers at the pub. And now that you know that, let's go French kiss in the excavated coal mines."
Gilgamesh Brewing Mint Kolsch: Because ladies hate bitterness that doesn't involve hating you for deleting her Chelsea Lately, they should be up for this warm-weather Kolsch, which ditches the hops for mint jazzed-up with rye and honey.
Icebreaker: "Gilgamesh is run by three homebrewing brothers and their Dad. It's also what I call my penis."
Prodigal Son Bruce/Lee Porter: A traditional porter brewed with London-esque hard water from the Blue Mountains, this one will attract the she-geeks who "have an experienced palate and an appreciation for darker beers," and will likely never go back.
Icebreaker: "I find it appallingly sexist that someone would suggest women are only attracted to light fruity beers. By the way, great rack."