Lifestyle

Run for your life, lumber for others'

The braaaaaaainchild of a Tacoma-based fitness company, the zombified Dawn of the Dead Dash race starts with a briefing at a "quarantine zone" somewhere near the Burnside Bridge, where you'll be outfitted with a glow collar to identify yourself as a human (because everyone knows all humans wear glow collars), then let loose to hit checkpoints throughout the city by running, walking, or taking public transportation, all while being pursued by a horde of you-know-whos

Once tagged, you'll be relieved of that collar, smeared with gore, and tasked with pursuing other racers and scaring the bejesus out of highly confused non-participants throughout the city as a zombie. There aren't a ton of rules -- no bikes, and weapons (real or fake) aren't allowed, mainly to prevent you from getting attacked by cops/cheeky British dudes with cricket bats -- and the first person to hit all checkpoints and head back to the quarantine zone without developing a taste for brains wins

The entire apocalyptic nightmare's gonna put about three miles on your legs, so you'll be plenty thirsty -- luckily there'll be an "after-death" party with a costume contest and free Deschutes, after which only the keenest observer will be able to identify you as human.