The Portland Retro Gaming Expo is expanding like so many Beasts that've been Altered, moving from a hotel conference room to the Convention Center for two days loaded with button mashing, auctions of rare gaming goods, tourneys, and chicks (and probably some dudes) in sexy Princess Peach costumes. What you're in for:
Game Day: Hear talks on the history of the industry (one from the dude who created Centipede!) before plopping down $10 to enter qualifying rounds for the Tetris World Championships. Then, after losing because that damn long piece is simply never going to come, hit the Ground Kontrol-curated Mega-Cade for 120 free-play classics like BTTF pinball, an Empire Strikes Back cockpit game for scoundrels only, and straight-up stand-ups like Arch Rivals, Mortal Kombat, Burger Time, and Rampage.
Game Night: The Sat night afterparty (9p-midnight) boasts a full cash bar and free rein on all the arcade and console games at the expo. Or, if you're tired of hanging with fat dudes in Solid Snake cosplay gear, head to Star Theater, where you can power up your libido with a Critical Hit Burlesque show at which chicks'll slowly remove costumes inspired by Asteroids and SoulCalibur, which should cause a few swords to expand.