Lifestyle

The Nearly Naked Spelling Bee

Presented by Critical Hit Burlesque (language of origin: Italian) and going down the first Tuesday of every month starting next week, this alternate-pronunciation-request-heavy throwdown at very beery Someday is starkly simple: contestants both female (yay!) and male (ewwww!) face off on stage, where they're tasked with spelling words like loquatious -- dammit! -- loquacious in front of a live audience.

Each contestant's allowed one mistake, and every round's winner moves to the finals, while each loser chooses how far she (hurrah!) or he (dude, spell better!) wants to go on the nudity scale (all the way down to your diphthong!!) as music plays, and audience reaction determines the best dancer

Winners then have to use their word in a sentence, as long as the word is "strip", and the sentence is "I still have to strip even though I won". Why? Because the best speller receives a prize, but the combination best speller/best clothes-remover takes home the "grand prize", which is tbd, but may involve cash, gift certificates, concert tix, and even getting their bar tab picked up -- something that may or may not happen to other contestants as well, depending on how well the stripping went.