You've got your visitor routine down pat, to the point where your favorite neighborhood bars bank on a certain allotment of out-of-towners visiting you for a huge hunk of their annual income. But someone always throws a monkey wrench in the works, a visitor whose very announcement of intent to visit gets your brain racing for ways to entertain. Worry not… Whether you're hosting toddlers, your often-embarrassing old buddy, or folks who once rocked "I Like Ike" buttons, you've got this on lock.
THE GUEST: YOUR SISTER AND HER THREE-YEAR-OLD KID Face it: your place isn't exactly childproof. Or sister-proof, for that matter. But, lucky you, Portland's a playground… and at most places, you can get a beer while the toddler plays.
The Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Rd; West Hills; 503.226.1561 Because you've totally wanted to see baby Asian elephants and penguins but have been totally too embarrassed, use the kid as an excuse to hit the zoo and check out the naked mole rats in all their naked mole glory… and be sure to take the MAX in, because you get to see dinosaur bones in a tunnel, then take an elevator up through the core of a mountain.