The vitriol most Portlanders have toward the steady stream of Silicon Valley tech folks infiltrating the “Silicon Forest” (ugh) is seemingly endless, and for many a good reason: these soul-patched aggro-nerds are snatching up all the cool old houses and replacing them with condos, creeping out the local ladyfolk of most popular Internet dating platforms, and giving credence to the joke that everyone and their mom in Portland is a DJ. But we probably have them to thank for bringing a Timbuk2 store and the La Boulange line of Starbucks pastries with them, so it’s a net positive, right?
The Supposedly Earnest Midwesterner
Like the Rebooter Chick, this young lad flees the heartland in search of a better life with better coffee and lush scenery. Being the frugal and self-deprecating Midwesterner he is, he avoids the volatility of the rental market by living in a van and writing snarky stories about it. His snark extends well beyond stories of his own personal life, and the locals begin to backtrack on their belief that everyone from the Midwest is good natured, hard-working, and sincere to a fault. They take to the comments section to put him on blast for his egregious misconception of their opulent existence, unaware that only fools check the comments sections of their own work. He also writes lists about transplants for Thrillist.
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Pete Cottell is a writer at Thrillist who transplanted to Portland from Ohio, lived in his van, and shattered your belief that all Midwesterners are polite. Follow him to the comments section: @vanifestdestiny.