Lifestyle

The definitive guide to PDX's best strip clubs

Published On 11/06/2013 Published On 11/06/2013

Everyone knows that Portland is home to more strip clubs per capita than any other city in the world. And everyone knows that PDX is also home to some of the strangest strip clubs in the world. But strangely, the sheer number of adult destinations means that not everyone knows which place to hit for a great steak, old-school video games, or just the... um, Girls! Girls! Girls! Don't worry, we've got the definitive list right here:

Casa Diablo

Most Famous Vegan Stripclub
Casa Diablo, NW Industrial
Sure you've heard about the (ironically?) flesh-less menu, the trouble with the Secret Service, and the features in high brow publications, but what's it actually like? Well, the topless bartenders only give change in two dollar bills, the minimum required tip for the dancers who freely walk around the large, open, somewhat well-lit room and interact with customers. Turns out, the extra dollar buys a lot.

Acropolis Club

Steak and Strippers, Need Anything Else?
Acropolis Steakhouse, Sellwood/Moreland
The first of such establishments to serve good food, or at least advertise it, this place is almost-as-well-known for an amazing Sunday brunch and its sweet steaks as it is for... well, boobs.

Sassy's Bar

Most Iconic
Sassy’s Bar, East Portland
With its three stages, dizzying assortment of "entertainers", and presumably a scheduling whiz in the back who manages to keep the latter in constant rotation on the former, it seems churlish to complain that this mainstay can get a little crowded on busy night. So, keep your mouth shut and just head over to the nearby Union Jacks if you have to.

Fickr User Todd Mecklem

The OG
Mary’s Club, Downtown
There’s nothing particularly great about Mary's -- the girls are friendly but nonchalant, it's usually slow -- but it does have a glorious flashing sign that welcomes you to Downtown. And because it's been open for almost a half century -- first offering exotic, and then topless dancing, before going all the way -- it is literally a part of Portland's past we should all cherish, or would if we weren't distracted by those nonchalantly nude girls.

Flickr User Sanfranannie

Party Like (And Maybe With) A Rockstar
Union Jacks Club, East Burnside
The moody flashing lights, the leather seats, and its proximity to the Jupiter, make this place feel almost like an upscale lounge, but the speed at which that girl drinks the gin and lemonade you just bought her, coupled with the crippling $4.50 ATM fee (wtf!?), kinda make this place feel like... well, like a strip club.

Lucky Devil Lounge

Most Polarizing
Lucky Devil Lounge, South East
You gotta love a club that takes themes so seriously it's willing to render totally attractive, naked women utterly unsexy via over-the-top make-up, costumes, etc. Or not, since you're there to see totally attractive, naked women!

DV8 Gentleman's Club

Club With Most Distractions
Dv8 Gentleman's Club, South East
No lovely, scantily clad lady, I don't want a lap dance, I'm too busy playing pool, and right after that I'm gonna hit up that PACMAN cocktail table, and watch the Blazers lose on one of the big flatscreen TVs... err, what am I saying? Of course I want a lap dance!

Golden Dragon

The Only One Open After Bars Close
Golden Dragon Exotic Club, Downtown
The Golden Dragon doesn't serve alcohol (Booooo!), but that means they can stay open 'til 4a (Yaaaaaaaayyy!), and let in people under 21... but who cares about that, did you hear they're open 'til 4a?!

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1. Casa Diablo 2839 NW St Helens Rd, Portland, OR 97210 (Nw Portland)

Casa Diablo isn't your typical restaurant from the outside, or, for that matter, the inside. It's modeled after the vampire bar in From Dusk Til Dawn and features a solid vegan menu with must-tries like soy stroganoff. Not what you were expecting? There's another surprise: this spot is actually a strip club that has a bank full of those ever-popular $2 bills for tipping and dancers performing the wildest leather-free strip show you’ll ever see. That's right: this is a vegan strip club. Bless you, Portland.

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2. Sassy's Bar 927 SE Morrison Bridge, Portland, OR 97214 (East Portland)

Three stages. A rotating and diverse selection of lovely ladies. What more could you want from this East Portland temple of tail?

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3. Golden Dragon Exotic Club 324 SW 3rd Ave, Portland, OR 97204 (Sw Portland)

Portland's classiest most...exotic... joint to-date. There's a jukebox, full bar, chinese buffet options, and...oh yeah...female barely-dressed dancers.

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4. Mary's Club 129 SW Broadway, Portland, OR 97205 (Downtown)

Operating for almost 50yrs, Mary's Club is perhaps the original Portland bastion of boob-baring. Stop in for a drink at this iconic PDX club.

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5. Union Jacks Club 938 E Burnside St, Portland, OR 97214 (Lower Burnside)

Open 365 days a year, Union Jacks Club brings ladies and top shelf booze together in one fell swoop to single-handedly rid your wallet of singles.

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6. Lucky Devil Lounge 633 SE Powell Blvd, Portland, OR 97202 (Se Portland)

Inspired by a 1960s Playboy vibe, Lucky Devil Lounge brings wild themes to their velvet-lined stages.

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7. Dv8 5021 SE Powell Blvd, Portland, OR 97206 (Se Portland)

Pool tables and TVs adorn this Portland strippery. With happy hour specials that include $2.50 well drinks, and a promise of "just boobs, no nagging", you really can't go wrong at Dv8.

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8. Acropolis Steakhouse 8325 SE McLoughlin Blvd, Portland, OR 97202 (Sellwoodmoreland)

With 65 beers on tap and a steak that rivals any meatery in town, Acropolis brings new meaning to the word "strip" at one of Portland's most famous stripperies.

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