3. Start disliking the city of Seattle immediately
It should be easy, because those idiots are always saying their fans (which they've only had since 2010) are the best in the US. And because Seattle sucks.
4. Learn all the songs and chants
Real fans know to sing "You Are My Sunshine" in the 80th minute. And not to bring the song sheet they printed out last night to the stadium.
5. Turn indiscreetly drinking in a 6hr wristband line into an art
Practice this: "Yes officer, there really is coffee in my cup."
6. Figure out how to jump the line at Hotlips
It's easy to make friends if you give people a sip of your "coffee".
7. Get a tattoo of Timber Joey (we miss you Timber Jim!) on your back
But, like, a subtle one, in case you go back to that accounting gig. Or just go with "RCTID" like everyone else.
8. Commence really kind of hating Seattle
Especially now that former Timber (and Manchester United wash-out) Kenny Cooper plays for them.