If watching The Walking Dead has taught you anything, it's that the only real way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to engage in brutal, long-winded talks about your feelings in between headshots. Since you’re not as good-looking/ tortured as them, you definitely need to hit Trackers Earth’s Zombie First Responder course.
ZFR’s two-day survival series splits your time between a Portland training session as an urban commando, and a trip to Sandy to hone Bear Grylls-style survival skills like lighting fires without matches, and sneaking off to the Four Seasons when the cameramen go to sleep. To keep your delicious brains intact, they'll learn you on:
Avoiding Infection: You’ll be taught how to avoid high-risk areas popular with zombies and find clean groundwater, a skill that can also be applied during natural disasters like earthquakes, and running out of smartwater, ahhhhhh!!!!
Stealth: Lurking in the shadows isn’t just a skill to develop if you want to be the next Chris Hansen (if only for the free Taco Bell and Zimas) -- it’s also handy for hunting deadheads with bows and (for now, foam) arrows.
Hatchets: ZFR crafted a bunch of zombie dummies that you’ll practice re-murdering by employing an overhand throwing technique, unless you’re Dennis Eckersley, in which case, you’re already a zombie. And also allowed to throw sidearm.
Cooking: Smokeless fires to obscure your position? Check. Foraging techniques for wild plants and proteins like rabbits and crawdads? Got it. Attractive people mulling the philosophical definition of humanity while safe on a farm? Nope, that's on AMC!