1. Our beaches beat your beaches, beetches! - Venice Beach is great -- if you’re into trying to get your tan on amongst a colony of homeless people and drug addicts (sometimes both) along the boardwalk. In SD, our beach bums are hippies, our drug addicts are called stoners, and our boardwalk has Slomo, who everyone loves.
2. There's traffic, and then there's LA traffic - Thanks to the abundance of automobiles, bad drivers, and lack of reasonable public transportation options, you’re pretty much guaranteed to find yourself imprisoned by the ironically named “freeway” at any time of the day or night. As you idle, taunted by signs displaying speed limits you’ll never actually reach and inhaling exhaust fumes, just think that at least sitting in gridlock traffic for hours gives you time to run lines for your next audition.
3. They've cornered the market on smog - No, that's not the marine layer rolling in. People in LA envy the air quality in China.