4. Your beer isn't as good as our beer
, Green Flash, Societe, Ballast Point... we could keep going but there is all this delicious beer that needs drinking.
5. People don't go to Gaslamp for the history
It might be listed on tourism websites as a "can’t miss" historical destination, but the only reason to go to the Gaslamp is if you're planning on making some bad decisions
while enjoying a few overpriced cocktails. Suffice it to say, the only culture you’re likely to end up with involves an STD test.
6. Many people live here. Few are actually from here.
Fact: true San Diego natives are only SLIGHTLY rarer than unicorns. The city is full of students, beach bums, surfers, military, immigrants, and people who fell in love with the city on vacation and never left. Sure, some people were actually born here. There's just a decent chance you may not encounter any.
7. Obey boardwalk etiquette or we will run you over:
a) Stay to the right. Not the left. Not the middle. Also, that guy isn’t furiously ringing his bike bell behind you because it sounds pretty, so get out of the way.
b) We get it. You’re stoked. You finally found a place to park, you’ve got your arms full of beach gear, and your eyes are fixed on the water -- but before you cross the boardwalk to get your toes in the sand, look BOTH directions. Otherwise you’re likely to get taken out by any number of skateboarders, bikers, or even a random rollerblader (retro!).
c) If there are more than two of you, do not hold hands, link arms, or form a chain of people of any kind that stretches across the boardwalk. If you do, be prepared to engage in an involuntary and probably violent game of Red Rover/chicken with every jogger, skateboarder, biker, or the aforementioned random rollerblader.
8. Slo Mo is awesome
You can’t miss him. He’s the older dude rollerblading down the boardwalk in slow motion. We all love him, so wave, say hello, or just yell "Slo Mo!" like everybody else does as he inches by. But you should definitely get out of his way, too.