From a NY-based editor who describes himself as "the Brad Davis of law school-educated writers originally from Dallas", Sports is Like scours the country's sports pages/columns/blogs for the choicest mixed metaphors, shoddy similes, and other less alliterative plays on words, then eviscerates them, employing a blowtorch of sophistry so powerful, you could probably also use it for a really nice creme brulee.
Still don't get it? Well, feast your eyes on choice excerpts like:
"But [Tayshaun] Prince doesn’t sound angry at his teammates or coach, or bitter about any of it. He is like a math prodigy who is waiting for the rest of the class to catch up.":
Don’t math prodigies spend most of their time waiting for the rest of the class to stop beating the sh*t out of them for being math prodigies?
"It is funny the way people keep asking Patriots coach Bill Belichick and Giants coach Tom Coughlin how they have been softened by the years. They have mellowed, supposedly. They have softened. Why, they have turned into Grumpy Old Men, with Belichick filling the Walter Matthau role and Coughlin playing Jack Lemmon.":
You couldn’t be more wrong on this. Tom Coughlin is much more likely to have old-man sex with Sophia Loren, and it’s obvious from the slightly less craggy look on his face that Bill Belichick has already slept with Ann-Margret at least twice. Also, of the two, Coughlin is way more Jewish. All of this is irrelevant though, because we know from “Catfish Hunter” that the Grumpy Old Men franchise was a metaphor for the pursuit of the World Series.
"Alistair Cooke should have been the TV host. Herman Melville could have written the scripts. Think football’s version of Wuthering Heights and The Count of Monte Cristo back to back. The AFC and NFC championship games Sunday were Masterpiece Theater.":
Brilliant move by the networks: Hire a host whose PBS show bored American men to death, and a writer whose own signature novel’s 822 pages would probably kill all the contestants if recast as a 12-overtime football game -- but who could certainly be counted on to create breathless sporting events out of a chick story and a revenge tale involving a bunch of Frenchmen.