Underground club for not-so-underground comedians

Claiming OG status as SD's first “A-list comedy club” even though Dave Coulier isn't performing every night, The ACC is a strong basketball conference, but pretty weak in football, especially recently subterranean, brick-lined vault of hilarity big enough for 208 lucky folks to get their laugh on while sipping 18 wines and 21 brews (AleSmith X, Mongo Double IPA...), and munching on standard pub-style apps and entrees like French bread pizzas to "Grilled Campfire Hot Dogs".

And because going alone will only make people laugh at you, you're going to need a date, so use our brilliant guide to find the right comedian to pair with your righteous lady friend.

If you date a girl who:Vaguely resembles the sarcastic, kind-of-goth-before-goth-was-a-thing daughter from Roseanne.Take Her To: Tom Arnold (March 22nd-24th). Plus, everything you say to her after the show will seem hilarious by comparison.

Eats four bags of Flaming Hot Cheetos during a single round of frisbee golf, then goes home to play Gran Turismo on Elite difficulty, and re-read The Hobbit just to look at the maps.Take Her To: Doug Benson (March 25th). And be sure and order like 11 of those French bread pizzas.

Is turned on by the possibility of banging anyone famous. Take Her To: Brian Posehn (April Fools' Day) Dude is the antonym of handsome.

Once mud-wrestled John Candy on the set of Stripes. Do Not Take Her To: Kevin Nealon (June 22nd-23rd) Get it together, man. You're dating his ex-wife!