11 reasons the Seattle Seahawks are the absolute worst
You thought Carolina was bad?? This Sunday, the Niners will play for the NFC Championship in the only city more consistently dreary than ours: Seattle. As if you even needed them, here're all the reasons the Seahawks are the absolute worst, so you can troll your Seattle-loving friends/blood enemies.
2. Wait, isn't that the Sounders' home stadium?
3. According to a lawsuit, Seahawks defensive lineman Michael Bennett abandoned a puppy at a boarding facility and caused it to have an emotional breakdown. A puppy emotional breakdown.
4. Seahawks rookie DT Jesse Williams tattooed "YOLO" on his face. Which... actually kind of has a poetic sense of irony on a level we're pretty sure he's not aware of.
5. They're selling tickets to Sunday's game in Seattle to people who live in Canada, but NOT people who live in CALIFORNIA.
6. The fans created seismic activity a couple of times on Marshawn Lynch's TD runs, which is really not good for Seattle.
7. One of their best quarterbacks ever is only the second most successful Hasselbeck, after Elisabeth.
8. This jersey.
9. Also, this jersey.
10. Brian Bosworth: hairstyle icon, or Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
11. Pete. F***ing. Carroll.