15 reasons the Carolina Panthers are a horrible bunch of losers

This Sunday, the Niners play the Panthers in the Divisional Round of the NFL playoffs, and to help you prepare for adequately trash-talking a team you may or may not care much about, we're giving you 15 pieces of verified trolling gold.

Jake Delhomme
Flickr/Tomasland

1. Jake Delhomme is still the franchise leader in passing yards. Jake Delhomme. Is still. The franchise leader. In passing yards.

Cool shoes, brah
Carolina Panthers

2. They play in teal uniforms. Teal. Aesthetically, they're like the Vancouver Grizzlies of the NFL.

Transition Lenses
Carolina Panthers

3. Ron Rivera is the absolute worst... and not because he's a bad coach or a terrible person, but because he wears transition lenses.

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4. OhMyGodThis.

Whole Team
Flickr/Trostle

5. Their football team launched in 1995. As an organization, they're not even old enough to buy beer for themselves -- they have to shoulder tap other football teams.

Steve Smith
Carolina Panthers

6. Steve Smith threatens to punch opponents. Actually punches teammates. Presumably punches babies.

Cam Newton
Carolina Panthers

7. Unlike Ron Rivera, Cam Newton actually is a terrible person who will steal both your laptop and that paper you stayed up all night writing.

I've never seen an Ocelot before! He is desperate for stuff to play with.
Wikimedia

8. There aren't any panthers in North Carolina.

Blue Devils
Flickr/Roshan Yadama<br />

9. They're in the same state as Duke.

Sir Purr
Sir Purr

10. Their mascot's name is Sir Purr. So...

Bank of America Stadium
Carolina Panthers

11. They play in Bank of America Stadium… aka, Fined For Mortgage Fraud Stadium.

Jerry Richardson
Carolina Panthers

12. Their owner is actually a really nice guy, except when he raised ticket prices in 2010 despite a dismal 2009, released several veterans rather than extending contracts, refused to spend money on free agents, encouraged the lockout despite actually making $100 million in profits, milked taxpayers for stadium updates, and killed Batman's parents.

DeAngelo Williams
Flickr/Jeff Kern

13. DeAngelo Williams has ruined every fantasy football team you've had since 2008.

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14. Greg Hardy has obviously never read Harry Potter.

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15. Still just... Steve Smith.