7. They want to eat clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl
Okay, fine. So do you.
8. They’re c*** blocks
You're gonna be out partying, you're gonna meet a super-hottie, they're gonna be super into you because YOU'RE YOU, but you can’t go back to that person’s place (see: houseguest)... and do you really want them coming back to yours (again: see houseguest)? Basically, you’re never going to get laid again and it’s all your houseguest’s fault.
9. They “didn’t sleep very well”
Not that they’re complaining, but the light came in through the window, and did you know your couch has a weird lump in it, and they’re still on East Coast time, and wow, your 100-year-old apartment building gets really cold at night.