Halloween is quickly approaching, and to help you avoid the pitfalls of going as a 20yr-old with a tongue problem or her creepy, Beetlejuice uncle (that's what that was, right?), here are some hyper-local SF costume ideas that all your friends dressed as sexy pizza are gonna be soooo jealous of
World Famous Bushman What you need: Leafy branches scavenged from trees, a hat, greenish clothing, a milk crate, and an inherent ability to make your friends scream How to execute: Sit on the milk crate hiding behind the "bush" you've made from all the branches, and wait for partygoers to pass by before jumping out and scaring the ever-living crap out of them.
Brian Wilson (Couples Costume!!) What you need: Ridiculous beard, Dodgers uniform, Golden Gate Bridge costume, fake knife How to execute: One person dresses up as our former pitcher now in a Dodger's uniform, the other dresses up as an SF landmark with a knife taped onto their back.
Sexy Mayor Lee What you need: Gray hairspray, '80s dad-moustache, suit jacket & pants, bikini top How to execute: Pay homage to our illustrious, not-perjuring mayor by graying your hair and mimicking his awesome 'stache, then make it sexy by wearing a bikini top. Very confused rrrrow
Mark Zuckerberg What you need: Ginger curly hair wig, an outfit your mom picked out for you, wads of cash (maybe bags of cash) How to execute: Spend your whole night in The Mission asking people intensely personal questions, and attempting to buy everything. Bonus points if you then share any information gained with EVERYONE
Frank Chu What you need: Black sign, neon lettering, sunglasses How to execute: Be everyone's favorite protester by making your own sign about the 12 galaxies and how they're working with presidents to rob you of royalties. The less sense the sign makes, the better
Mixologist What you need: Fake tattoos, curly fake moustache, stirring spoon, strainer, outfit from The Newsies How to execute: Put the tattoos everywhere, wear the moustache, and don't forget to make it have extra curl. Finally, make sure to stir and strain every drink you're given, into another glass. Bonus points for bringing ridiculously large blocks of ice with you
Trevor the Truffle Guy What you need: Straw hat, sunglasses, copper bowls, delicious truffles How to execute: Somehow get all the bowls onto some weird stick contraption that you carry around while wearing the hat and sunglasses, offer truffles to people at the party in exchange for a couple of bucks, and don't tell them your truffles are just from See's.