Christmas is almost here, and that means -- like all normal, well-adjusted adults -- we've put together a list of the not-at-all-impossible-or-ridiculously-expensive things that we want from Santa. Who exists.
1. A parking spot in North Beach on a Monday. Or a Tuesday. Or a Wednesday. Really, dude, any weekday would be cool.
2. To have one of those Google self-driving cars. Papa has some texts to send and some Candy Crush to play.
3. Home-field advantage for the 49ers throughout the playoffs. Related: a Ricky Williams-style, weed-fueled abrupt retirement for Russell Wilson. Tomorrow.
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4. A reservation at State Bird that isn't in 2016.