But which Bay Bridgepocalypse alternative sucks the least??

In case you receive all of your vital news from an online men's magazine (which, really guys, you probably shouldn't), the Bay Bridge is closed this Labor Day weekend (also, there's some stuff going on in Syria you should probs pay attention to). So, to help you get from the East Bay to SF and vice versa, we've compiled your alternative options (San Mateo Bridge, the ferry, BART, swimming...), and weighed the pros and cons of each

The Golden Gate BridgeWhy it's the best alternative: It's possibly the most iconic landmark in the entire world, and probably the easiest route to go for Marin and the upper East Bay.Why it's the worst alternative: They recently replaced all of their toll workers with an automated computer system, stripping the Bay Area workforce of dozens of (awful) human jobs

The San Mateo BridgeWhy it's the best alternative: Sure, it's a lot less glamorous than the GG, but if you happen to be coming in from most parts of Oakland, this is probably your best bet, plus it looks like you're driving on the water!Why it's the worst alternative: Oh my god cars can't drive on the water we're gonna drown

The FerryWhy it's the best alternative: Leaves from several points all around the Bay (yay Jack London Square, kinda!), plus you've got a leisurely boat ride for your commute...Why it's the worst alternative: ... that happens to be packed with a million strangers, plus it kiiind of reminds you of that scene from The Dark Knight

TidelineWhy it's the best alternative: You will absolutely feel like the coolest guy around when you and a couple friends beat the system by ordering a water taxi that'll drive you from port to port in style.Why it's the worst alternative: Well, it's not exactly the least expensive option, but it's certainly not the most expensive. Either way, you may have to fight other people for their limited boats.

The Sea Lion
Why it's the best alternative: Because you get to prove anyone who didn't take the San Mateo Bridge totally wrong. Cars can drive on water, idiots.
Why it's the worst alternative: ...We got nothing.

Why it's the best alternative: What's more convenient than the modern luxury that is flight?
Why it's the worst alternative: Sure, you'll have to BART to the airport, Caltrain from BART, then fly needlessly to a connection city (Portland appears to be a nice choice), then fly back and BART again, but it's all worth it for the low price of... $1000.

Why it's the best alternative: You'll get a great workout!
Why it's the worst alternative: You will also probably die.

Why it's the best alternative: Ugh. If you must.
Why it's the worst alternative: Just... don't sit down.