Everything you need to know about SF's Great Horror Campout
Oh, this? It's just the Great Horror Campout, an all-night, super-terrifying, interactive scavenger hunt/sleepover party/in-real-life horror movie coming to the Alameda Fairgrounds on July 11th and 12th. Here's everything (else) you need to know about it:
1. It's an all-night event. No, seriously.
The only way to win is to survive the night, which lasts from 8pm-8am. Like, 8am in the morning. During that 12-hour stretch, you will be scared, harassed, and grabbed in a definitely-not-trying-to-hug-you manner by everything from zombies to rednecks with chainsaws.
2. Some of your supplies are provided
They'll provide a tent and dinner, along with a bag for your scavenger hunt. And you've gotta provide a sleeping bag, a pillow, a flashlight, dossier (you'll be emailed), and a white, ruinable shirt for "blood tag" (the usual). They also highly recommend a snorkel, underwater flashlight, and several pairs of underwear. Because you WILL pee your pants.
3. You choose your level of scared
There are a couple different types of zones: the Yellow Zone, where the only scary thing is the screams of the people in the other zones, or the highly immersive, highly terrifying, not-Yellow Zone, where scary dudes can mess with you while you're in your tent.
4. You have to work your way out
If you thought you could hide in the outskirts for the duration, you're wrong. Your path to victory will involve everything from sticking your hand in a vat of "blood" to being voluntarily abducted by guys in a van labeled "candy", to bowing to "The Lords" for a password.
5. There are no rules to Hell Hunt (the scavenger hunt to be Hellmaster)
Though they can change the rules at any time. You should, however, familiarize yourself with the idea of "speed bumps" (being abducted, kidnapped, caged, or otherwise impaired) or "crowd bursts", which are mini-games (RPG shout out!!) that involve blood tag or camp talent shows (which are scary in and of themselves).
6. Winning is just the beginning of your nightmare
Much like actual horror movies, getting crowned Hellmaster by surviving the night and finishing the Hell Hunt means you get a sash and badge... which give you first dibs on tents the next year, along with access to VIP and scarier areas.
7. You can opt out at any time
So long as you are willing to scream out, "I WANT MY MOMMY".
8. We have a free ticket for one lucky reader
All you have to do is Tweet THIS by Wednesday at noon to have a shot at a free ticket in the Yellow (less scary) Zone.
Joe Starkey is Thrillist's San Francisco Editor and asked for his Mommy at least three times just while writing this. Follow his emasculated self on Twitter.