45 Reasons Why I Know You're a San Francisco Transplant
Despite the fact that San Francisco is the most expensive place to live in the US, has a devastating homeless problem, and "boasts" one of the worst public transportation systems in the nation, people are moving here in droves. Seriously, something like 30,000 new people have moved to SF since 2010 and that number just keeps growing. And, hey, that's cool. I'm glad you like my city. (Disclosure: I'm not a "native," but I moved here when I was six years old.) I like it a whole lot, too. And you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like (which, I've learned, won't be that long, but whatever).
I do think it's pretty adorable, though, how most newcomers love to point out their favorite stereotypes about San Franciscans. Like that we're bad dressers. Or wear flip-flops year round. That we all use the word "like" excessively, which is, like, totally not true. And that there are literally no single hot chicks in the city.
Well, guess what? We have funny stereotypes about you, too. We just chose not to point them out. Until now. You talk funny, wear belts with whales on them (seriously, stop that), and still slip up and call it "San Fran" every once in a while. Also, all of the things on this list. Don't worry, though. For the most part, we find it totally endearing and adorable. And we'll enjoy it for as long as you stick around. Which, again... probably won't be that long. No worries. Not everyone can hack it here. We get it.
1. You think SOMA is a cool place to live
2. You don’t remember the first tech bubble. Or when it burst.
3. You order your burrito without guacamole
4. You have a really good idea for an app. And you think people care.
5. You call it The 101
6. You’re obsessed with Dunkin' Donuts
7. The only places you’ve been in Marin are Sam’s and Muir Woods
8. You enjoy staying late at work
9. When you say, "what school did you go to?" you're asking about college
10. You order cocktails with only two ingredients
11. You won't stop talking about how much you miss "seasons"
12. You aren't even a little ashamed to shop at Target
13. You’ve never been to the Outer Richmond. Except once to drive to the beach.
14. You’re not scared of earthquakes
15. You’re blonde
16. You loooooooove the Mission
17. You're not sure where the Lower Haight ends and the Upper Haight starts
18. You don’t own a car
19. You love the food in San Francisco, but you won’t STFU about how much you miss your hometown’s pizza/bagels/cheese curds/cheesesteaks/deep dish/BBQ
20. You have a bizarre amount of Billy Joel songs in your music library
21. When you say "hella", it sounds hella forced
22. You own more than one pair of dress shoes (and your dress shoes aren't your "fancy" sneakers)
23. You prefer Phish over the Grateful Dead
24. You call the Western Addition "NoPa"
25. You find there to be nothing problematic with the Google shuttles
26. You think the best burger in SF is an In-N-Out burger, Animal Style
27. You work in finance
28. You vote absentee in your home state even though you've lived here for four years
29. You’re scared of Toronado
30. You’re a terrible driver
31. You neither drink, nor understand the glory that is Fernet
32. You get upset when people flake
33. You don’t have a costume box
34. You wear button-down shirts (and, worse, tuck them in)
35. You refer to California as "Out West"
36. You don’t understand the difference between trash, recycling, and compost
37. You smoke cigarettes
38. You DON’T smoke The Pot
39. You’re never around on Thanksgiving or Christmas
40. You think moving to LA might not be so bad. In fact, you're currently looking into it.
41. You don't root for the Niners
42. But you do root for the Giants. At least in October. What? You love a good riot.
43. You prefer Tupac over Too $hort.
44. You care about your appearance. And fine, you're somewhat good looking.
45. You're already planning your exit strategy
The place I love more than anywhere on Earth? It's just a fun hiatus until you're ready to start your "real" life. And you wonder why everyone flakes...
Sign up here for our daily San Francisco email and be the first to get all the food/drink/fun SF has to offer.
Daisy Barringer is Thrillist's SF Editor and she'll totally admit that she's a mediocre driver at best. And also doesn't smoke The Pot. But she does think New York's bagels are hella overrated. Follow her on Twitter @daisy.