Lifestyle

15 reasons you should own a car in SF, even though it’s the dumbest thing ever

We absolutely admit it: owning a car in San Francisco is just plain ridiculous. The city has over 800,000 residents and only, like, 23 places to park. Throw in those pesky tourists and commuters, and basically, if you find a spot, you should just leave your car there forever.

Except, oh right: street cleaning. And two hour parking limits. And the fact that an inch of your bumper is just slightly blocking someone’s driveway, and oopsie! You just got towed. Of course, you can avoid getting one of the 1.7 million SF parking tickets issued each year by just renting a spot. Sure, it will probably be in an inconvenient location and cost you $400/month, but at least you won’t have to drive around for 45 minutes every night looking for a space.

So... yeah. Clearly, there’s pretty much nothing that could make all of the money you spend buying, insuring, maintaining, driving, and parking a car in SF worth it. Nothing, of course, except these 15 things.

1. Beer is heavy
The six-block walk to Whole Foods might be a breeze, but get back to us after you’ve carried that 31lb case of microbrews all the way back home. Probably, we should point out, straight uphill the entire time.

2. Muni sucks
We see no reason to further elaborate on this point.

3. If you can parallel park here, you can parallel park anywhere
Way more impressive than “making it” in New York... whatever that means.

4. Do you really want to be seen in a car with a pink mustache on the front?
Not to mention the mandatory fist bumping?

5. A car is your own personal karaoke room
Is there any place on Earth more fun to sing at the top of your lungs than in the car? Shut up showers, no there isn't.

6. Dogs look adorable when they stick their heads out of car windows
And if you own a dog, but not a car, you’d better really love your neighborhood, because you’ll never leave it again.

7. You’ll annoy cyclists with your very presence, even when obeying all laws
Admit it: it’s disturbingly fun to watch those guys get all riled up.

8. Surge pricing
We love Uber. And so does everyone else. If you do the math, that means a lot of surge pricing, which can add up to a ridiculous fare, pretty quickly.

9. Airport pickups
Just kidding! Real friends don’t ask for rides to or from the airport. EVER.

10. Surfing
Sure, you could live in the Outer Outer Sunset and just walk to the beach, but then you’d live in, well, the Outer Outer Sunset. Instead, just put your board in or on your car and live somewhere -- how do we say this nicely? -- else.

11. Wine and liquor are also heavy when bought in appropriate amounts
See #1. Also, if you’re buying just one bottle of wine and therefore think this doesn’t apply to you, you’re right, but you’re also doing it wrong.

12. You’re 40 times more likely to catch HPV on a Friday night than a cab*
*Fact.

13. The bridges
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived here, there is something magical about driving over the Golden Gate and Bay Bridge (even if it does cost a magic-sucking $7 for the former).

14. Being in SF is fun. Leaving it whenever you want? Even more fun.
Big Sur, wine country, Muir Woods, Stinson Beach, the Headlands, Tahoe, Mendocino, Calistoga, Santa Cruz, Half Moon Bay, Yosemite. The only reason to live in San Francisco is so you can leave it from time to time. Throw your stuff in the back, roll the windows down, turn up the radio, and be sure to stop at the In-N-Out drive-thru to begin your in-car collection of empty fast food containers in style.

15. Driving in SF is way more fun than driving in other cities
For evidence, see: Bullitt, The Rock, and literally any street in this city. 

Daisy Barringer is a San Francisco-based writer who won’t date a guy unless he owns a car, which is one of just many reasons why she’s still single.