17 Bizarre SF Apartment Quirks Only a San Franciscan Could Love
Fact: the thing that differentiates most San Francisco apartments from apartments in the rest of the United States is that we pay nine gazillion dollars a month to live in ours. But it's not just the astronomical prices that set our homes apart from everyone else's. No, it's the weird paint colors, original crown molding, and these 17 other quirks that make our apartments distinctly SF.
Fireplaces that don't workSince basically every day in SF is a "Spare the Air" day, you can't burn wood anyway. You can, however, try to burn your apartment down by filling your sealed-off fireplace with lots and lots of candles.
Door levers in the wallThese magical levers open the front door from the top of the stairs, and if you live in a place with one of these and it still works, you're stoked. There's nothing worse than walking down a steep flight of stairs just to let your booty call in.
Bay windowsTurns out they're called "bay" windows because they create a bay in the room. A bay that literally fits not one single piece of your furniture. Fun times.
Murder-y back staircasesWe don't really want to think about if these were for the "help" or just an alternate route in case of fire. Probably because we know the answer.
Toilets with attached sinksYou flush and, IMMEDIATELY after you do, water comes out of the faucet to fill up the tank, and that's the water with which you wash your hands. Because, San Francisco.
Curved doorwaysOh, did you think your apartment was going to come with doors you could actually shut? THINK AGAIN. Still, they're charming, or something?
Picture railsHahahaha you thought you'd be able to put a nail in that plaster wall? Hahahahahahahaha.
French doors with windowsThat don't lead to a garden, but rather to another room. Inside. Which begs the question: why have doors at all? Oh, right. Because the only way anyone can afford to live in SF is if there's someone sleeping in every single room. And at least those doors will muffle the "snoring" a little bit?
Open-air coolerIt's basically a pantry unit with screen-covered vents that lead to the exterior of the house to let in cool, outside air -- perfect for preventing your cheese from sweating and stinking up your regular cabinets in the pre-refrigerator era, and for storing random DVDs/St. Patrick's Day party supplies during the post-refrigerator era.
Clanking radiatorsWill your radiator hiss and moan and clank at all hours of the night? Absolutely. Will you complain? No. Because steam heat is FREE.
Sinks in closetsCare to wager on how many times that thing has been peed in?
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Daisy Barringer is the SF Editor for Thrillist and one time a boy peed in her closet even though there was no sink in there. Follow her on Twitter @daisy for more stories like that.