Phoenix Hotel (click here for address and info)
You can just walk right into this Andy Warhol-inspired, avant-garde-arted Tenderloin oasis via Chambers. Piece of cake, right? Oh, what's that? They don't open 'til 5pm? Come before then, and there's only one way in and out, and it's guarded by a not not-attractive girl at the reception desk who's more than willing to check the hotel computer to see if your friend "Pedro" who was supposed to meet you at the pool is actually in the guest registry. So to make things easier, here're the top five most-used hotel guest names: James, John, Robert, Michael, and William. That's right, suck it David.
Grant Marek is a senior editor at Thrillist and recommends bringing a girl with you. Couples are less suspicious/girls are the best! Follow him on Twitter.