Speaking of which, you're turning into Vegas with all your second edition restaurants
Congratulations on having the hand-me-down version of Mission Chinese, Pok Pok, and even Boston's hottest tapas place from 2005, Toro. We can't wait 'til you try State Bird Provisions NY in 2017.
Tech douchebags are much better than i-banking douchebags, on the whole
Ours are much more subtle and nicer, and you might even confuse them for just a normal person wearing an Arc'teryx fleece.
Your sports teams are terrible. Like, really terrible.
Obviously the Knicks suck, because they're the Knicks. And that trendy Brooklyn squad sucks, partially because they're also made up of things that were cool in Boston in 2005 (Paul Pierce), and partially because most real NY basketball fans remember they're from Jersey. The Yankees can't even buy their way out of mediocrity, and the Mets, well, hahahahaha. Eli Manning threw upwards of 17 interceptions a game, the Jets make the Bills look promising, and the Rangers... okay, the Rangers are fine, but would still get smoked by any of the teams that play in California, including the one sponsored by Disney. But hey, MLS is just kicking off! Go Thierry Henry!