San Francisco has arguably the best restaurants in the country. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop it from also having arguably some of the worst restaurant names in the country, the top 14 of which we've graciously ranked for you below, from worst to worst-est. Also, this likely goes without saying, but this list has nothing to do with the food at any of these establishments, which in almost all cases is pretty great. This just has to do with our maturity. Or, rather, our lack thereof.
Editor's Note: Huge apologies to King Dong and Pho King, who didn't make the list because they're located in Berkeley and Oakland, but who should probably get together and make some magic.
14. The Stinking Rose
Yes, it's a moniker for garlic, but c'mon...
13. Loving Hut
We can think of a lot of things one might do in a loving hut. Eating vegan food isn't one of them.
12. B&M Mei Sing
The only place one should sing about BMs is in the bathroom. And really, even doing it there is a little unnecessary 95% of the time.
11. Phuket Thai
Yes, we realize Phuket is a province in Thailand and no, we're not mature enough to care.
10. The Sausage Factory
This building used to house a literal sausage factory. Now it houses a pizza place. In The Castro.
9. Pizza Orgasmica
DON'T PROMISE SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER DELIVER.
8. Burger Urge
Now if Pizza Orgasmica could get together with Burger Urge, we might find a little satisfaction in that.
7. Squat & Gobble
All we can picture is a fat man squatting over a toilet, gobbling down turkey legs. And now that's likely all you can picture, too. You're welcome.
6. Kaka Udon Kitchen
Kaka might mean "mother" in Japanese, but in English it means "poop," and that's all there is to say about that.
5. The Old Clam House
No commentary needed.
4. Hung Phat Bakery & Coffee
Actually, going there more often would probably save a lot of relationships.
2. Sidewalk Juice
1. Asian Box
"Where were you man?"
"Oh, just eating some Asian Box."
"How was it?"
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Daisy Barringer is Thrillist's SF Editor and, yes, this is seriously her job. Let her know which restaurant names she left off of this list in the comments below or over on Twitter @daisy.