Trying to figure out what kind of poop that is
You lose either way. Also, it’s probably human poop.
Telling your friend in Oakland you’ll go to his party
Don’t get his sad little East Bay hopes up when you know there’s no way you're taking BART across the bay on a Saturday night. Or ever, if you can help it.
Eating at the Taco Bell on Duboce
Yeah, there tooootally aren't any legit taquerias just a few blocks away or anything.
Letting your friend tell you about his app idea
Ohmygod NO ONE cares. Unless he's buying drinks and then, well... nope, sorry, not even then.