The 19 Worst Decisions You Can Make in San Francisco
You make great decisions all of the time, starting with the fact that you live in San Francisco. But c'mon, admit it: you make some terrible ones as well. Hopefully, none of them are these:
Giving up your rent-controlled apartment
Unless you’re a Twitter millionaire which, ugh, you probably are if you would do something so frivolous.
Not bringing a jacket with you
Yes, even when it’s 90 degrees outside. Even in September. And even when you're going to The Mission. Have you learned nothing by now?
Assuming the plans you made will actually happen
You need same-day text confirmation -- if not same-hour -- otherwise you're totally getting flaked on.
Not leaving 20 minutes to find parking
It will always take at least 20 minutes. Always.
Trying to figure out what kind of poop that is
You lose either way. Also, it’s probably human poop.
Telling your friend in Oakland you’ll go to his party
Don’t get his sad little East Bay hopes up when you know there’s no way you're taking BART across the bay on a Saturday night. Or ever, if you can help it.
Eating at the Taco Bell on Duboce
Yeah, there tooootally aren't any legit taquerias just a few blocks away or anything.
Letting your friend tell you about his app idea
Ohmygod NO ONE cares. Unless he's buying drinks and then, well... nope, sorry, not even then.
Not working at a start-up
You know who’s rich in SF? Start-up people. You know who's not? The rest of us.
Waiting until after 11pm to go out
Last call in SF is 1:30am.
Hosting a guest
People who come to SF don’t just come for a weekend; they come for weeks. When's the last time you wanted to see the same person for more than three days in a row?
Having a baby
The public schools are awful and private school costs 25K. For kindergarten. So basically procreating in SF is just your way of taking forever to say goodbye.
Not bringing cash
Unless you love taking one dollar bills and ripping them up into teeny-tiny pieces, which is basically the equivalent of paying ATM fees.
Expecting your bus to be on time
The buses in SF take after the people. Or is it the other way around? Either way, your bus is going to be late. Fact.
Thinking cyclists are going to obey the rules of the road
No, they will not stop at the stop sign. Not even if it’s your turn to go.
Being on the road during Critical Mass
Even on a bike. Sorry, dude.
Telling your tourist friends you'll do touristy stuff with them
Touristy stuff will always include Fisherman’s Wharf and rarely include whiskey. Meet them for dinner and drinks instead.
Driving across the Bay Bridge at 5pm on a Friday
Yes, you really want to get to Tahoe (why else would you be on The Bridge?). Thing is, you can leave at 7pm and make it there at the exact same time.
Telling the police at the Giants riot you need to get by because your "Uber is down there!"
Actually, never mind. That was totally classic, ridiculous SF.
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Daisy Barringer is Thrillist's SF Editor. Follow her on Twitter @daisy to see her make bad decisions in real time.