Before posting anything on the internet, it's crucial to make sure your facts are straight -- otherwise, Tom Cruise will sue you in between sessions of mindblowing vagina sex with his wife. Acting all willfully misinformed: The Content Farm.
A satirical take on the oft useless & inaccurate pieces pumped out by content farms (e.g., Answers.com, Associated Content...) TCF's a repository of blatantly crappy step-by-step "informative articles about every topic", written by people with "a passing knowledge" of everything from how to become the President, to recognizing the signs that you're bleeding from the head, which might actually come in handy if you end up President. Selected steps include:
How to Make Rock Candy:"Find some rocks. If they are already on sticks, that is ideal."
How To Eat An Orange: "Open it. Oranges have two parts, the outside and the inside. You don't want to eat the outside unless you want to get extremely high, so remove that. You can buy orange outside removers in many stores."
How to Sob Uncontrollably: "Let your mental undertow overwhelm you. Once you've cleared your mind of passing troubles, you will feel a brief moment of tranquility. This won't last. The cracks in the foundation of your very psyche will manifest, and you'll hear the siren call of mental oblivion-it will sound like crumbling. Succumb to it."
How to Tell a Joke: "Point at someone and fart. This is known as 'warming up' the audience, which is hilarious, because farts are warm."
How To Tell Someone You Love Them: "Wait until night. This is because nobody ever tells anyone they love them during the day except liars and rock singers. You'll know it's night when you see that Seinfeld reruns are on."
They're even accepting new submissions from anyone willing to throw one together, though getting even them to publish your guide to sleeping with Tom Cruise may be Mission: Impossible.