16 reasons Rob Ford shouldn't step down

By now you’ve probably heard that Toronto’s Mayor Rob Ford parties hard, like really hard. Like, staggering around the streets drunk and possibly high on crack. He admitted to using crack cocaine, but he also said he has no plans on stepping down and then he said, “God bless the people of Toronto.” So, obviously, he’s totally forgiven -- but in case you weren’t sure, here are 16 reasons Bobby Ford should stay on as Toronto’s top cheese

16. He’s not the most corrupt Canadian mayor. Hell, he might not even be in the top five. Montreal’s mayor got arrested for “Mafia extortion”, so it would be kind of a waste for him to step down for something as petty as hitting the pipe now and again.

15. He wears amazing ties

14. Toronto has no recall or impeachment mechanism, so WHY SHOULD HE, PEASANTS?

13. He should stay just for the possibility that he’ll run in 2014 on the slogan “cracking down on crime”

12. Most people can’t tie their shoes while they’re high -- Rob Ford can run a world-class city.

11. The mayor has heroically taken it upon himself to slow the city’s drug trade and eradicate all the crack BY HIMSELF

10. How corrupt could he be if he didn’t even bribe the cops who had the video

9. There are rumors that aside from the alleged crack smoking tape, there could also be an alleged sex tape. You can’t fault a man that just wants to love and be loved in return

8. If he starts an official "Rob Ford Party Tours" company, Toronto will receive a surge in tourists' dollars

7. Winter is coming and his brother -- Doug -- is the best volunteer traffic cop we have

6. He’s breaking the stereotype of crack users being gaunt and skinny. That counts for something, right

5. Show him the rule where it says a mayor can’t smoke crack now and again. Go on, show him. He’ll wait

4. Even if you’ve been to jail, he’ll probably still write you a reference letter

3. His staggering evasiveness can teach us all how to improve our language skills

2. Now that Breaking Bad is over, Rob Ford is the best thing on TV

1. He finally makes Canadian politics relevant.