9. You won’t hang out in Chinatown
Is it because of racism or because you can’t stand genuinely laid-back bars?
10. You avoid H St
Do you have something against people who don’t look like they were torn out of a J.Crew catalogue?
11. You fail to learn where anything is
Sure, you aren’t from here, but the entire city is 60 square miles. If someone asks you to meet up in Columbia Heights and you’re in Georgetown, your response should not be “How do I get there?” You have Internet access. Figure it out.
12. You refuse to take public transit
Yes, the Metro can suck. But the traffic is worse. And you’re contributing.
13. You pump up your resume within two minutes of meeting someone
You: “So after graduating from Harvard I applied for an internship with my local congressman and...”
Them: “Would you like fries with that sir?”
14. You spend every weekend away from DC
So, you moved here from Jersey four months ago, but you spend every weekend driving there to be among your own kind. Then you spend weekdays complaining you can’t meet anyone.