Speak softly, but say really provocative things

Whether the president swings left or right, you can always count on people being more interested in him pointing rigidly towards the center. Learn the slick moves used by everyone from Honest Abe to Tricky Dick, at Presidential Pickup Lines.

A spanking-new Tumblr that pairs old presidential photos with their imagined, (government) cheesy come-ons, PPL's stocked with goodness like:

Lyndon Johnson: I’m like the Vietnam war, way longer than you thought I’d be.

George Washington: Let’s make like Paul Revere and go for a midnight ride.

Abraham Lincoln: You must be Seward authorizing the purchase of Alaska ‘cause i’m experiencing some unprecedented growth.

Harry Truman: Baby, you must be German. 'Cause you sure started the battle of my bulge.

Andrew Johnson: You’re gonna need reconstruction after this Johnson.

The cool presidents weren't the only ones who got play, so they've also provided lines from the likes of Taft and Harding; but, if you're not satisfied, you're more than welcome to submit your own, just know that you better bring the funny, or unlike those presidents, the Tumblr guy won't stick it up.