The Passive-aggressive Georgetown Cupcake Customer
Didn't get the memo that cupcakes aren't even that cool anymore (and apparently the other tourists didn't either, hence the around-the-block line). Has been waiting 30 minutes for a damn cupcake, and is starting to lash out. Do not bump into this person, and don't even THINK about looking like you're trying to cut.
The Cherry Blossom Virgin
OMG! Cherry blossoms! Must Instagram! And Snapchat! These hordes are perpetually roaming the Tidal Basin (even though you can find cherry blossoms all over DC) each spring with a level of excitement that, inexplicably, sometimes does resemble a person about to have sex for the first time.