Do you live in a DC suburb? Have you ever wondered if said suburb actually kind of sucks? Had you never thought about it before, but now that someone mentioned it, you ARE thinking about it? Keep reading to find out! Don't see yours? Feel free to defend and/or roast it in the comments.
Clarendon Ballroom is the kind of place you’ll be partying at in your mid-'20s when you come to the sudden realization that your life is empty and directionless and you hate everyone around you. If you’re one of the many "hip young professionals" that’s always touted as a benefit to moving into that converted sunroom in an Arlington high-rise you found on Craiglist and haven’t gone through this yet... you probably deserve to still be living in Arlington. (P.S. you’re still not allowed to tell people you live in DC).
Old Town Alexandria is where people go when they feel like taking a pleasant day trip out of DC, only to realize that it’s not actually that cool. Sure, there are cobblestone streets, the Torpedo Art Factory is something to do (?), and Todd Thrasher turns on his blue light, but once you’ve walked the length of King St, you’re always left with a certain sense of being decidedly underwhelmed. Slogan idea -- Alexandria: Decidedly Underwhelming.
Maybe you'll eat some delicious Korean food. Maybe you'll get stabbed. It's a toss-up!