Some things in life are just too good to be true, like finding out you just won the Lotto, or even better, finding out you just won a free velour warm-up suit from noted Italian sports apparel maker Lotto! Adding "taking a sledge hammer to some dude's car" to the list, Smash My Malibu.
Billed as not-your-average "Classic Malibu Smash and Hot Dog Boil", SMM is an epically absurd, one-day, dwarf-free, likely impossible-to-insure fundraiser where you can pay cash money to go all medieval on some guy's ride, because, as they put it: "How many times have you seen a Malibu cruising the highway and thought, Damn! Wish I was driving that b**ch! Now you can do the next best thing. Smash that b**ch the f*** up!"...well said, well said. The action's pay-as-you-play, with weapons/sporting equipment varying in price and ranging from $.50 per punch/kick and $2 for a thick chain, to $4 for a whack with a baseball bat and $5 for a sledge hammer, not to mention they'll provide day-of pricing if you elect to bring your fave battle axe, flail, or spike club mace; after the last swing, one lucky participant can even pay $250 for the opportunity to hurl a Molotov Cocktail into the passenger seat window -- an option dubbed the Hungarian Special, presumably because the Irish hate car bomb jokes and aren't afraid to fight. From there things admittedly get weird, with a veritable cornucopia of probably made-up big-tent sideshows w/ marquees like "Let Judge Reinhold Watch You Undress" or "Get High With Pauly Shore", along with random special celebrity appearances from "today's sizzling hot Hollywood stars" like a hometown hero Mark Wahlberg look-a-like and best of all, "Ice Cold Pepsi Vending Machines on-site" though the "Pepsi is not necessarily ice-cold".
But wait, there's more: fresh off his appearance at the Norwood Knockouts Haircuts For Men, Medfield's Pete "Hurricane" McNeely is slated to fight a kangaroo in a no holds barred undercard match, and "Fast Eddie" will be onsite selling bootleg DVDs, yet another thing in life just too good to be true, assuming he's got Howard the Duck.