Lifestyle

Arnocorps

Arnold's fought many foes throughout the years (Franco Columbu, the dude with the ponytail in Kindergarten Cop... his agent after Jingle All The Way), but he's never truly had reason to stop and face the music. Until now, with Arnocorps. Wrapping up their "Ballsy West Coast Tour" in SF this weekend, Arnocorps is a commando gear-clad hardcore punk band whose songs celebrate the "ancient heroic lore of Austrian Alpine communities" they claim've been bastardized by Arnold Schwarzenegger movies; they refuse to deviate from their put-on Austrian accents, or admit it may have been overkill to file a class-action law suit against Arnold's Hollywood studios (oh yes, they did). While songs like "Terminator" and "Total Recall" revel in immediately recognizable scenarios -- e.g., "Your clothes, give them to me! F**k you, a**hole!" -- less badass Arnie flicks're represented too, but not necessarily by their given name, e.g., Kindergarten Cop = "You Lack Discipline", which wouldn't be true if Nutter Butters weren't so damn delish! Onstage shenanigans require the participation of the audience, who Arnocorps refers to as "ballsy goddamn heroes", and include crowd-surfing on guitar cases, throwing each other into the crowd, throwing audience members into the crowd, and... carrying a child through pregnancy for Emma Thompson.You can experience all the mayhem for just eight bucks at Thee Parkside, where you'll also be encouraged to pick up Arnocorps' monumental 15-track CD, The Greatest Band of All Time -- listen to it, and you'll be getting the feeling of coming, just like you get in the gym, and at home, and backstage when you pump right before you pose in front of 5,000 people. So you know, you'll be in heaven!