Getting the shuck out of Baltimore

Oysters and beer are the perfect pairing: one has been scientifically proven to make you an insatiable sexual dynamo, and the other is oysters. Finally giving this unstoppable duo its due, DC's first annual Chesapeake Oyster & Beer Festival.

From the producers of the b-tastic Beer, Bourbon & BBQ fest, this 2-day shell-stravaganza is deliciously sliming its way into National Harbor after three successful years in Baltimore, bringing with it all-you-can-handle oysters, suds samples, and winning football. Augmented by seafare from local restos (e.g., Creamy Bluepoint Oyster Stew from Sauciety American Grill) and house pit beef sliders, the main event's prepped by "world-class shuckers": 24,000+ mollusks shipped from all over the world, covering 10+ breeds from CT Blue Points to Choptank Sweets, served raw, grilled, "Charleston roasted", and Rockefeller-style, which involves driving smaller, independent oysters out of business, then monopolizing your stomach. To wash down nature's most wash-downable bounty, they've got 20+ wines (from Trapiche Sparkling to a Charles Krug Pinot Noir) and 30+ legit brews, including Evolution Porter, Woodchuck Amber, Ommegang Witte, and the ale that watched the most Michael J. Fox sitcoms ever, Lake Placid's "Ubu".

Because they also want to satisfy your mind, there'll be several exhibitions, including a panel of DC food bloggers, an oyster/beer pairing lesson, and a cooking demo/tasting of "Frogmore Stew" -- a South Carolina oyster feast that also includes sausage, which despite the science, is almost universally all that's present where there's beer.