Courtesy of Portland Parks & RecreationCourtesy of Portland Parks & Recreation
Local lore states that summer only lasts a little over two months in Portland. And rather than spend these 60 glorious sun-soaked days inside with your laptop, why not grab a blanket or a lawn chair and head outside for some classic cinema at your local food cart pod or city park? It’s often free, and there’s no usher to shush you or take away your party favors.
We can’t wait for Forrest Gump 2, in which Forrest accidentally becomes president after accidentally watching our current Commander-In-Chief give away top secret nuclear codes to Russians while dining at the Times Square location of Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.
Enjoy the original in all its glory, because the plot (a man’s family goes on vacation; he stays home and oogles his neighbor, Marilyn Monroe) is too good to not get remade with a buffoon like Eugene Levy as the lead.
Find your favorite Marla Singer-type on Tinder and snuggle up for this classic romcom about soap, split personalities, and anarchists living in a house on the verge of condemnation. Hits pretty close to home, doesn’t it?
Diego Luna voices Manolo, a young man stuck between following his heart and doing what his family says. Had this been made 20 years prior, it likely would’ve been essential viewing in the Gen X slacker canon. Now it’s a kid movie. Go figure.
If you’re the last person alive who hasn’t seen this early Tarantino classic, the scene in the diner where Steve Buscemi’s character gets school after claiming he doesn’t tip is a relatable enough reason alone to give it a watch.
Amazon delivery drones make the conceit of this movie a little wonky, but suspension of disbelief and voiceover work by Andy Samberg does wonders in making this entertainment for even the most cynical of Techbros.
If you’re too young to understand the argument between the cinematic and director’s cuts of this hallowed sci-fi classic, it’s time to get woke to the reality of our android future before the sequel hits theaters this October!
This would’ve been an excellent opportunity for McDonald’s to bring back the legendary szechuan McNuggets sauce they rolled out for Mulan. They’ll probably re-release the McRib again for the millionth time instead. Si
James Franco’s awesomely bad unofficial interpretation of From G’s to Gents hero Riff Riff is a career-making performance in our opinion, but the tenor of most Harmony Korine films is a bit too left-of-center for your average Riff Raff fan to really know or care about what’s happening on screen. It’s a shame, really, because a more real depiction of Florida has yet to see the light of day.
Stay tuned for Edward Fidget Spinnerhands, coming to a screen near you in summer of 2018.
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Pete Cottell is a notorious over-preparer for outdoor movies who once got booted from Irvington Park for setting up a hammock and accidentally sleeping there through the night. Follow him for chill summer tips at @Vanifestdestiny.