Intense competition is the surest way to reveal what man's truly made of, even though Pizza the Hut is generally not considered a "man", and it's pretty obvious that dude is completely composed of pizza. For seeing what you're made of while dressed as Conan, sign up for Warrior Dash.
Staged at various locations around the country, WD's an extreme "run from hell" in which costume-clad racers scamper, scuttle, crawl, and fall their way over a 3.45mi obstacle course, then indulge in a barbaric post-race celebration at which prizes're awarded by times determined by a chip tied to your shoelace -- post a good one, and you're sure to get Lay'd. The 12-obstacle Florida race loops through the rugged scrub country of the Triple Canopy Ranch, where you'll wallow through deep swamp water, high-step over hundreds of tires, climb giant straw bales and towers of cargo netting, dive over or under logs in waist-deep muck, brace yourself in a hurricane of water and man-made wind, belly crawl under barbed wire through a muddy trough, and leap hurdles of actual flames, aka the Warrior Roast, also a proceeding at which Gilbert Gottfried throws some real zingers about the size of Thor's hammer. Post-race revelry includes a free pint of Pyramid Beer (plus ample purchasable refills after that), roasted turkey legs, and medieval competitions like boulder heaving, knife/axe-throwing, and "Best Beard", which you shouldn't get your hopes up to win, 'cause that Katie Holmes is a real pro.
Rewards for your agony include booty like a furry viking helmet, a warrior t-shirt, and a custom WD medal; if you're in the top three of your age-determined division, you'll also net a steel warrior helmet trophy, and there's also a "Craziest Costume" contest determined by audience applause -- so just cross your fingers and hope that PIZZA is gonna be calling out for YOU.