There are certain tacky things guys will always love, from Christmas sweaters, to chicks in stripper heels, to Sgt. Tackleberry, when calling him by the nickname you just gave him right now. For an intentionally tacky joint that serves an awesome burger, hit Kitsch'n 155.
Named in honor of its deliberately tawdry design (turquoise stone walls, red/white checkered floor, '70s soda ad art, retro street signage) and the highway number of Clairmont Rd, Kitsch'n is a diner in a converted Arby's, who apparently won't cause a beef about taking over their location, as long as you've got the cheddar. You can throw jalapenos, grilled onions/'shrooms, bleu cheese, and bacon on Engelman's Bakery-bunned double burgers outfitted with patties from Creekstone Farms, which's known for meats that're hormone-free and source-verified, so now you don't have to buy an issue and skip through all those FUBU ads. Non-burger-ers can grab the 1/4lb beef "Dawg" with housemade chili, or the daily Blue Plate special, which comes with two sides (sweet potato fries, seared asparagus, etc.) and might consist of anything from meatloaf, to country fried steak, to pot roast, also a Comedy Central special during which a lot more people laugh at Carrot Top's jokes.
Further fattening's accomplished by
Danny Baldwin Ben & Jerry's-based sweets like hand-dipped, seasonally flavored shakes/malts (peach, strawberry), or an ice cream sandwich made with the house-baked cookie of the day, which could range from oatmeal raisin to cranberry, also the girlish nickname you gave Tackleberry, but only for a brief period.