Eat and drink in the town founder's house

There are so many things you can do with a historic house, like turning it into a museum, or hopefully just canceling it before it causes anymore undue Payne. Doing something equally needed with a landmark North Fulton residence: The Roswell Tap.

Quietly opening Monday night in the 1800s home of Roswell King (you know, the town founder dude), Tap's a deceptively domestic-exteriored house of comfort food and bevs with a dining room featuring a cathedral ceiling and fire-surviving central chimney, a wall of glass windows looking out to the patio, and a bar made of old wooden doors, or a name Jim Morrison would presumably be happy being called today, when showing his penis to concert audiences. Begin with grits fried as nuggets or chips (similar to Fritos, but countrier) w/ smoky bacon collard dip, a pretzel-wrapped Vienna beef frank, sausage plate (kielbasa, spicy Vidalia, cheddar cheese beer...), or Coke-sauced TAP wings, so just hope they're instructing you to bang the blonde chick with all the hair, and not Steven Weber. Because man (reportedly) cannot live on grits nuggets alone, move onto sliders of Angus, turkey, or chorizo w/ fried quail egg & shaved Parmesan, sandwiches like a southern-style lobster roll, or 14in deep-dish buttercrust pies like the Special (beef, ground sausage/turkey, rosemary bacon), about which they say "we bought the farm and put it on this pizza" -- a lesson in creative economics, as Stanford University costs a whole lot more than $16.

To keep you fueled, the bar's gonna have around 40 bottles like Allagash White, 12 drafts, a wide selection of bourbons/ Irish whiskeys, and special mixed drinks like the Irish vodka/ lemonade/ iced tea "Tap Tea", as opposed to "tap T", which is what TBS did to fill up their entire lineup.