These are some sexy wieners

Even the most timeless creations sometimes need to be updated, which is why they just came out with a Planet of the Apes movie that’s soooo much better than the original, with Marky Mark. Breathing new life into an enduring foodstuff: The Hot Dog Boutique.

Just arrived in The Cake Hag's former downtown locale, The Boutique's a crazily wonderful shop of wildly re-imagined wieners, retaining the space's chairs and tables, but re-scheming it with randomly colored cloth napkins (blue, red, purple, whatever), orange sherbet paint, and a window-displayed dry erase board draped by a fuzzy lei, aka, “banging a Muppet”. You Animal. Standard dogs're all-beef, which you can sub out for chicken, turkey, or veggie on "Traditional" joints like "The Hottie" (spicy mayo, spicy relish, jalapenos, mustard), the crushed-potato-chip-topped "Retro", or the mustard/beef chili/onion "Professional", the noblest hot dog murderer to ever look after a pre-adolescent Natalie Portman. Other jazzy franks include the "Semi-Formal" (jerk seasoning, mango chutney, chopped onion), the "Urban Couture" w/ grilled onions & peppers over beef sausage, and the polish sausage "Sexy", which you won't be bringing back, 'cause you're fat from hot dogs.

There're also bites of catfish nuggets, jerk wings, and sauteed shrimp, as well as 1/2lb hot dog-shaped hamburger franks like the beef or turkey "Flapper", a timeless creation that got updated, by changing its name to “chick getting out of car with no underwear on”.